STARTING AGAIN

WELL, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I ADDED ANYTHING TO MY BLOG, BUT HERE GOES - --
CHERYL IS DUE TO ARRIVE IN LV THIS COMING FRIDAY. WE WILL PICK HER UP, THEN GO UP TO LOGAN SATURDAY MORNING TO VISIT TEEN. WE'LL STOP IN SLC TO DROP OFF TRUDY'S "CARE PACKAGE" WHICH WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO BRING TO HER FOR SEVERAL MONTHS (PAPER PRODUCTS, MEAT, BACON, BUTTER, ETC.).
GO ON TO LOGAN SATURDAY AFTERNOON TO THE CRYSTAL INN TO SLEEP THEN HAVE BREAKFAST (FREEBEE) THEN PICK UP TEEN TO TAKE HER TO PATSY'S FOR DINNER. AFTER DINNER THEN ON THE ROAD AGAIN TO SANTA CLARA - - - BUSY WEEKEND BUT WE CAN'T DRIVE THAT FAR ANYMORE, CHERYL DOES THE DRIVING FOR US.

A SHORT LESSON IN ARCHERY

A short Journal on Archery

Around age 12, my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits.
Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow.
Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbich.
That got boring, so being the 12 yr old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place.
One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and saw a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). A light bulb went off in my head. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a controlled manner once pierced by my arrow. Lets face it, to a 12 yr old like myself, (Ether) really doesn't "sound" all that flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles). My intention was to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker. You know what? I'm going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it out on the stump too. Now I am cookin'.
I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of his truck... He just got home from work. OH SHOOT!
So help me God, it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes.
I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh wow!!!
When the shock wave hit, it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just my reflex jerk from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was a low fog layer full of grasshoppers, spiders, and worms.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this: THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.
There was a big Elm tree tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was." That sumbich got up and ran off.
So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a WWII flashback:
"ECHO, BRAVO, CHARLIE, YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMN IT CEASE FIRE ! ! ! "
His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard.
There is a Honda 185 3-wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down now, touching the tires.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up in the Hospital later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out again, woke up later... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my the Nurse had to give me CPR, and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again!!!"
One thing for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been complaining about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. You gotta give me credit for stepping up to the plate and taking care of business.
Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later.
I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. But only under close supervision. It will teach you parental responsibility.

RECIPES

From time to time I'll post a new(new to me)recipe. Some I've tried , some not. Here's one that my brothe CHING sent me. Sounds good

THE OLD COUNTRY BOY

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Muffin-Tin Crab Cakes

Take the frying and fuss out of crab cakes by shaping and baking them in muffin tins. For the best taste, look for
pasteurized crabmeat in the refrigerator case at your market's fish counter, a better choice than canned varieties.
Make It a Meal: Try these cakes with some tangy tartar sauce and coleslaw.

Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave or serve cold.

RECIPE INGREDIENTS
1 pound crabmeat
2 cups fresh whole-wheat breadcrumbs (see Tip)
1/2 red bell pepper, minced
3 scallions, sliced
1/4 cup reduced-fat mayonnaise
2 large eggs
1 large egg white
10 dashes hot sauce
1/2 teaspoon celery salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
6 lemon wedges for garnish

Tip: To make fresh breadcrumbs: Trim crusts from firm sandwich bread. Tear bread into pieces and process in a food processor until a coarse crumb forms. One slice of bread makes about 1/3 cup crumbs.






DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.

Generously coat a 12-cup nonstick muffin pan with cooking spray.


Mix crab, breadcrumbs, bell pepper, scallions, mayonnaise, eggs, egg white, hot sauce, celery salt and pepper in a large bowl until well combined. Divide mixture evenly among muffin cups. Bake until crispy and cooked through, 20 to 25 minutes. Serve with lemon wedges.

SUNDAY - LOTSA' TIME TO KILL

Just got back from 3 hours of CHURCH. Good lessons in SUNDAY SCHOOL meeting on "How to treat your wife like a QUEEN". I do that all the time.

Wilma comes home from work & I usually arrive home from the GOLF COURSE about the same time. I ask her "what's for dinner?" She says, "I want to eat out". I says, "can't be spending all that money on frivolous things".."I need a new set of Calloway golf clubs".

So she starts dinner - I say "Nothing fancy, leftover FILET MIGNON, TWICE BAKED POTATO, ASPARAGUS TIPS with HOLLADAIS SAUCE will do nicely. Bye the way, do we have any Apple Pie left"?

After dinner I try to help her with dishes by reminding her that they won't wash themselves. She claims she's tired. "Take your time, as long as you've got them done before I go to bed. The dishwasher might keep me awake".

This goes on & on, her complaining about working all day then having to put in another 4 or 5 hours around the house. I remind her that when she was younger she was abble to put in a 15 - 16 hour day's work without complaining.I tell her "I'd help you, but the JAZZ are playing the HEAT tonight and you know I can't miss the game".

I wake up in the DIXIE REGIONAL MEDICAL CENTER with 2 broken legs, multiple contusions & various other ailments. The Dr.s say they'll send me home in a couple of weeks, but I can't do any work around the house for at least 2 months. There goes my opportunity to treat Wilma like a Queen.

I'LL TRY IT AGAIN NOW THAT MY LAST POST WAS SUCCESSFULL

It has been over a year (Sept 9, 2009) since my last POST so I wasn't quite sre how to save & publih my post. I think I've got it now swo I'll chance it once again.

Yesterday LARRY HANSON & his extremly brilliant GRANDSON GARETH (takes after his GRAMPA) came by to record a few of THE OLD COUNTRY BOY'S experiences. For some reason, LARRY thinks some of my life history is worth recording.

GARETH is 12 years old, a 1st CLASS SCOUT, working toward his Eagle Award. His many interests includes SPACE, ENGINEERING, GEOLOGY, READING & many more. An extremly smart & interesting young man, takes after his GRAMPA. His GRAMPA is a retired PHSCHOLOGY PROFESSOR from New HAMPSHIRE. A former BISHOP,a former PROFESSOR at BYU
(7 years) & 17 years as head of the PHSCHOLOGY DEPARTMENT at a University (I can't remember which one) in NEW HAMPSHIRE. A very smart individual & for some reason he has taken a liking to me & likes to listen to my lies.

Anyway, I spent a couple of hours recounting my experiences in the Air Force (4 Years), 10 years in Aerospace & 4 years at the University of Utah, while LARRY recorded them. They seemed to be interested in my 10 years in the SPACE PROGRAM more than anything else.

GARETH asked several incteful question about the SPACE VEHICLES, ASRONAUTS, etc. Made me feel like my life had not been a total waste after all.

WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT ! ! !

I RESTARTED MY BLOG AGAIN THIS MORNING, BUT WAS HESITANT ABOUT TOO LENGTHY A DISERTATION IN CASE I LOST THE TEXT. WELL, I LOST IT.

$2 BILL

On my way home, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting upset with me. DAN: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
TACO BELL EMPLOYEE (T B E): "Is that it?"
ME: "Yep."
T B E: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
ME: "No, it's to go."


At his point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and IT: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."


He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them. IT: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
MGR: "No. A what?"
T B E: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
MGR: "Ask for something else, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $2 BILL."
T B E: "Yeah, thought so."


He comes back to me and says IT: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
ME: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
T B E: "I don't know."
ME: "See here where it says legal tender?"
T B E: "Yeah."
ME: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
T B E: "Well, hang on a sec."


He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to shoplift.
T B E: "He says I have to take it."
MGR: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
T B E: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
MGR: "I'M NOT OPENING THE SAFE WITH HIM IN HERE."
T B E: "What should I do?"
MGR: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money."
T B E: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
MGR: "Just tell him."
T B E: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."


The manager approaches me and says "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night." [it was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor mall with 100 other stores.]
ME: "Well, here's a two."
MGR: "We don't take those either."
ME: "Why the hell not?"
MGR: "I think you know why."
ME: "No really, tell me, why?"
MGR: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "Excuse me?"
MGR: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "What the hell for?"
MGR: "Please, sir."
ME: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
MGR: "Would you please just leave?"
ME: "No."
MGR: "Fine, have it your way then."

At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45 year oldish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a whisper] SG: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
MGR: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
SG: "Really? What?"
MGR: "Get this, a two dollar bill."
SG: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [incredulous]
MGR: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
SG: "So, the fifty's fake?"
MGR: "NO, the $2 is."
SG: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"
MGR: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
SG: "Yeah..."


Security guard walks over to me and says SG: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
MER: "Uh, no."
SG: "Lemme see 'em."
ME: "Why?"
SG: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"


At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to eat, so I said ME: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill."


I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says SG: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
MGR: "It's fake."
SG: "It doesn't look fake to me."
MGR: "But it's a $2 bill."
SG: "Yeah?"
MGR: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"


The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue.

My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food.