$2 BILL

On my way home, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting upset with me. DAN: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
TACO BELL EMPLOYEE (T B E): "Is that it?"
ME: "Yep."
T B E: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
ME: "No, it's to go."


At his point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and IT: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."


He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them. IT: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
MGR: "No. A what?"
T B E: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
MGR: "Ask for something else, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $2 BILL."
T B E: "Yeah, thought so."


He comes back to me and says IT: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
ME: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
T B E: "I don't know."
ME: "See here where it says legal tender?"
T B E: "Yeah."
ME: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
T B E: "Well, hang on a sec."


He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to shoplift.
T B E: "He says I have to take it."
MGR: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
T B E: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
MGR: "I'M NOT OPENING THE SAFE WITH HIM IN HERE."
T B E: "What should I do?"
MGR: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money."
T B E: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
MGR: "Just tell him."
T B E: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."


The manager approaches me and says "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night." [it was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor mall with 100 other stores.]
ME: "Well, here's a two."
MGR: "We don't take those either."
ME: "Why the hell not?"
MGR: "I think you know why."
ME: "No really, tell me, why?"
MGR: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "Excuse me?"
MGR: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "What the hell for?"
MGR: "Please, sir."
ME: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
MGR: "Would you please just leave?"
ME: "No."
MGR: "Fine, have it your way then."

At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45 year oldish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a whisper] SG: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
MGR: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
SG: "Really? What?"
MGR: "Get this, a two dollar bill."
SG: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [incredulous]
MGR: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
SG: "So, the fifty's fake?"
MGR: "NO, the $2 is."
SG: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"
MGR: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
SG: "Yeah..."


Security guard walks over to me and says SG: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
MER: "Uh, no."
SG: "Lemme see 'em."
ME: "Why?"
SG: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"


At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to eat, so I said ME: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill."


I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says SG: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
MGR: "It's fake."
SG: "It doesn't look fake to me."
MGR: "But it's a $2 bill."
SG: "Yeah?"
MGR: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"


The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue.

My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food.

DIAMOND HEIST

THIS IS VERY INTERESTING - LONG, BUT WORTH THE TIME TO READ IT ALL.

SEVERAL PARTS, SO CLICK ON ALL OF THEM IN ORDER.

==============================================================

http://www.wired.com/politics/law/magazine/17-04/ff_diamonds%3FcurrentPage%3D1

INSTRUCTED BY THE CHROMOSOMES

Instructed By The Chromosomes

All babies start out with the same number of raw cells which, over
nine months, develop into a complete female baby. The problem
occurs when cells are instructed by the little chromosomes to make
a male baby instead.

Because there are only so many
cells to go around, the cells
necessary to develop a male's
reproductive organs have to come
from cells already assigned
elsewhere in the female. Recent
tests have shown that these cells
are removed from the communica-
tions center of the brain,
migrate lower in the body and
develop into male sexual organs.

If you visualize a normal brain to be similar to a full deck of
cards, this means that males are born a few cards short, so to
speak. And some of their cards are in their shorts. This difference
between the male and female brain manifests itself in various ways.

Little girls will tend to play things like house or learn to read.
Little boys, however, will tend to do things like placing a bucket
over their heads and running into walls. Little girls will think
about doing things before taking any action. Little boys will just
punch or kick something and will look surprised if someone asks
them why they just punched their little brother who was half asleep
and looking the other way.

This basic cognitive difference continues to grow until puberty,
when the hormones kick into action and the trouble really begins.

After puberty not only the size of the male
and female brains differ but the center of
thought also differs. Women think with
their heads. Male thoughts often originate
lower in their bodies where their ex-brain
cells reside. Of course, the size of
this problem varies from man to man. In
some men only a small number of brain
cells migrate and they are left with
nearly full mental capacity but they tend to
be rather dull, sexually speaking.

Such men are known in medical terms as "Republicans." Other men
suffer larger brain cell relocation. These men are medically
referred to as "Democrats." A small number of these men suffer
massive brain cell migration either to their groins or to their
buttocks. These men are usually referred to as...President Obama

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BEST PLAYMATE

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MY BRIDE OF 59 YEARS

I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT WILMA ONE DAY AND SAID, '59 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 18-YEAR-OLD GIRL".

NOW I HAVE A$300,000.00 HOME, A $50,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 77-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS.'

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN... SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 18-YEAR-OLD GIRL AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISES.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go.

To right the unrightable wrong
To be better far than you are
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest, to follow that star,
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far
To be willing to give when there's no more to give
To be willing to die so that honor and justice may live

And I know if I'll only be true to this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star.

AUNT KAREN

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their Parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and
pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Ernie was left.

'Ernie, do you have a story to share?'
'Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm , and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed

four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi With her bare hands.'

'Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

'Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking.'

SON OF MAN

Son of Man

Oh, the power to be strong
And the wisdom to be wise
All these things will
come to you in time

On this journey that you're making
There'll be answers that you'll seek
And it's you who'll climb the mountain
It's you who'll reach the peak

Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Some day you'll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you'll be

Though there's no one there to guide you
No one to take your hand
But with faith and understanding
You will journey from boy to man

Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Some day you'll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you'll be

In learning you will teach
And in teaching you will learn
You'll find your place beside the
ones you love

Oh, and all the things you dreamed of
The visions that you saw
Well, the time is drawing near now
It's yours to claim it all

Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Some day you'll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you'll be

Son of Man
Son of Man's a man for all to see

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE POEMS.
IT IS BY ONE OF AMERICA'S GREATEST
POETS - - ENJOY

========================================================


The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

THE ICE-HOUSE

BACK IN 1943-44 THERE WASN'T TOO MUCH REFRIGERATION. WHAT THERE WAS WAS USED TO MAKE A FEW ICE CUBES AND KEEP THE MILK FROM SPOILING.

OUT WEST OF ROOSEVELT WAS AN CITY POND THAT PROVIDED DRINKING WATER FOR THE TOWN. WINTERS WERE VERY COLD (30-40 BELOW ZERO) AND THE POND FROZE 2-3 FEET DEEP.

CLAIR LARSEN WHO RAN THE LOCAL BOTTLING WORKS ALSO HAD AN ICE-HOUSE. HE WOULD CUT SEVERAL HUNDRED BLOCKS OF ICE, PUT THEM IN HIS ICE-HOUSE AND SELL THEM TO THE TOWNS PEOPLE THE FOLLOWING SUMMER.

SEVERAL OF US YOUNG BOYS WOULD HIRE OUT TO HELP HIM HARVEST THE ICE. HE WOULD PAY US 10 CENTS PER BLOCK. WE WOULD TAKE THESE HUGE SAWS AND SAW THE ICE INTO BLOCKS APPROXIMATELY 2' BY 2' BY 4'. THEN WE WOULD MAN-HANDLE THEM ONTO WAGONS AND HAUL THEM BACK TO LARSEN'S ICE-HOUSE WHERE WE WOULD STACK THEM IN THE ICE-HOUSE AND SHOVEL SAWDUST OVER THEM TO KEEP THEM FROM THAWING OUT.

WE COULD EACH MAKE $1.50 TO $2.00 FOR A BACK BREAKING 10 HOURS WORK IN SUB-ZERO WEATHER. NO COMPLAINTS THOUGH, THAT WAS GOOD MONEY FOR AN 11 YEAR OLD BOY.

LATER THE NEXT SUMMER WE WOULD HAVE TO PAY $2.00 FOR THE SAME BLOCK OF ICE THAT HE HAD PAID US 10 CENTS FOR.

"TWICE BAKED POTATOES"

I GUESS YOU'RE WONDERING ABOUT THE SUBJECT LINE "TWICE BAKED POTATOES". WELL, IT'S A LONG STORY, BEAR WITH ME PLEASE.

BACK IN SEPTEMBER OF 1952, I ARRIVED AT SHEPPARD AFB, IN THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS. I HAD JUST FINISHED MY BASIC TRAINING AND HAD BEEN ASSIGNED TO AIRCRAFT & ENGINE SCHOOL.

WE FOUND A TRAILER PARK JUST OUTSIDE THE BASE IN WICHITA FALLS. WE PULLED UP AND STARTED TO GET OUT WHEN THIS GRIZZLED OLD MAN CAME OUT TO THE CAR, WALKED AROUND IT, AND SAID "I SEE YOU'RE FROM UTAH. YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THOSE MORMONS ARE YOU ?"

WELL, I WAS ALMOST TO ANGERLY REPLY "SO WHAT" WHEN HE SAID, "FOLLOW ME". HE TOOK US TO THE FIRST TRAILER IN THE 10 TRAILER PARK, KNOCKED ON THE DOOR, & INTRODUCED US TO CLYDE & LUCILLE FARR WHO WERE MORMONS FROM BATTLE MOUNTAIN, NEVADA.

WE WENT DOWN THE ROW, STOPPING AT 7 MORE "MORMON" TRAILER HOUSES BEFORE HE WAS DONE. WE MOVED IN, SET UP OUR TRAILER, AND SPENT THE NEXT 18 MONTHS IN ONE SPOT.

IT TURNED OUT THAT HE LIKED TO RENT TO MORMONS BECAUSE THEY NEVER GAVE HIM ANY TROUBLE & PAID THEIR RENT ON TIME. THERE WERE 4 RETURNED MISSIONARIES AMONG THE GROUP OF 8 MORMON FAMILIES. WE ATTENDED A SMALL BRANCH ABOVE A BAR IN DOWNTOWN WICHITA, FALLS. WE BECAME QUITE ACTIVE, GOT OUR TEMPLE RECOMMEND & WENT THROUGH THE SALT LAKE TEMPLE IN DECEMBER OF 1952 WHILE HOME ON LEAVE.

I WON'T BORE YOU WITH THE REST OF MY AIR FORCE STORY, BUT NEEDLESS TO SAY, IT WAS AN INTERESTING TOUR OF DUTY.

AFTER MY DISCHARGE, I ATTENDED THE UNIVERSITY OF UTAH, GETTING MY B S E E, GOT MY FIRST ENGINEERING JOB AT HUGHES AIRCRAFT CO. IN FULLERTON, CALIFORNIA, MOVED TO NORTH AMERICAN AVIATION IN DOWNEY WHERE I DESIGNED INSTRUMENTS TO GO TO THE MOON & BACK, MET THE ORIGINAL 7 ASTRONAUTS,THEN TRANSFERRED TO MC DONNELL DOUGLAS IN HUNTINGTONG BEACH TO WORK ON THE MANNED ORBITING LABORATORY.

WE STRAYED AWAY FROM THE CHURCH DURING THAT TIME & STAYED AWAY FOR THE NEXT 25 YEARS OR SO.

EVENTUALLY I TOOK A JOB WITH MTN BELL IN SALT LAKE. TRANSFERRED TO PHOENIX IN 1987, THEN TOOK EARLY RETIREMENT IN 1990, MOVED TO SANTA CLARA, BUILT A SMALL HOME & LIVED HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER.

NOW FOR THE "TWICE BAKED POTATOES" STORY - - - WHEW ! ! !

WILMA WAS OUTSIDE DOING YARD WORK WHEN THIS GUY (BRO. SCOTT LEE) STOPPED BY & ASKED HER IF WE WOULD TAKE 1 OF 3 DINNER ASSIGNMENTS TO FEED THE FULL TIME MISSIONARIES THAT WERE ASSIGNED TO THE SANTA CLARA STAKE. SHE REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO COMMIT TO ANYTHING UNTIL SHE TALKED TO ME, BUT SHE THOUGHT "WHAT IF SOMEONE TURNED TYLER DOWN (OUR GRANDSON WAS SERVING A MISSION IN CALIFORNIA AT THE TIME), SO SHE SAID, "SURE, WE'D BE GLAD TO".

SHE CAME INTO THE HOUSE & SAID "GUESS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO NEXT THURSDAY". WELL, I'M NOT CLAIRVOINT, SO I DIDNT HAVE A CLUE . AFTER SHE INFORMED ME THAT SHE HAD COMMITED ME TO COOKING DINNER FOR THE MISSIONARIES, I GOT DOWN TO PLANNING WHAT TO FIX.

THE MISSIONARIES WERE SUPPOSED TO COME AT 6 PM & STAY FOR AN HOUR. SIX FIFTEEN, NO MISSIONARIES, SIX THIRTY, STILL NOT HERE, SIX FORTY-FIVE STILL NOT HERE. AT TEN TO SEVEN, KNOCK, KNOCK. OPENED THE DOOR AND STARED AT THE CHEST OF THE TALLEST GUY I'VE EVER SEEN. STANDING BEHIND HIM WAS THIS LITTLE PIPSQUEAK OF A GUY THAT REMINDED ME OF CASPER MILQTOAST FROM THE COMICS.

'SORRY WE'RE LATE, BUT OUR FIVE O'CLOCK APPOINTMENT RAN LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED. WE'VE ONLY GOT A FEW MINUTES TO STAY FOR DINNER".

"THAT'S OKAY, I WAS GOING TO SERVE YOU A GARDEN SALAD, BACON WRAPPED FILET MIGNON, ASPARAGUS TIPS WITH HOLLADAIS SAUCE, GARLIC-CHEESE RED LOBSTER BISCUITS & TWICE BKED POTATOES. FOR DESERT YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE YOUR CHOICE OF 2 KINDS OF PIE, CHOCOLTE CAKE & ICE CREAM, BUT I'LL JUST FIX PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY SANDWICHES TO GO."

"WELL, MAYBE WE CAN CALL OUR NEXT APPOINTMENT & RE-SCHEDULE IT FOR LATER."

ABOUT 8:30 THEY FINALLY HAD ALL THEY COULD EAT, WE TOOK LOTS OF PICTURES, E-MAILED THEM TO THEIR PARENTS (DI CASTRO WAS FROM SAN PALO, BRAZIL & SULLIVAN WAS FROM WEST VIRGINIA).

THEY LEFT A TAPE WITH US WHEN THEY WENT HOME, & CAME BACK A FEW DAYS LATER TO PICK IT UP.

"BY THE WAY BRO BEELER, DO YOU HAVE ANY PIE OR CAKE LEFT?" THIS WENT ON FOR ABOUT 3 WEEKS THEN THEY WANTED TO PICK US UP THE FOLLOWING SUNDAY TO GO TO CHURCH WITH THEM.

"I KNOW WHERE THE CHURCH IS, I CAN FIND MY WAY THERE BY MYSELF".

THE NEXT SUNDAY WE ARRIVED AT CHURCH TO BE MET BT THE 2 MISSIONARIES, BRO LEE & BISHOP NIELSEN.

"BREAK OUT THE HARD HATS BECAUSE THE CEILINGS GOING TO FALL DOWN AS SOON AS WE STEP INSIDE THE CHAPLE."

BRO LEE INVITED US TO 'THE GOSPEL ESSENTIALS' CLASS THAT HE TAUGHT AT THE TIME. AFTER CLASS HE INVITED ME TO PREISTHOOD MEETING. WE CAME INTO THIS ROOM WITH ALL THESE ANCIENT MEN SITTING IN PLUSH CHAIRS, HALF OF THEM ASLEEP. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES I REALIZED THAT I WAS IN THE WRONG CLASS. THIS WAS THE HIGH PRIESTS QUORUM & I WAS AN ELDER WAY BACK WHEN. I RAISED MY HAND & SAID "I THINK I'M IN THE WRONG ROOM", "OH NO, WHEN AN ELDER IS AS OLD AS YOU ARE, WE INVITE HIM TO ATTEND THE HIGH PRIEST'S QUORUM."

THE BISHOP TOOK PITY & ORDAINED ME TO THE OFFICE OF HIGH PRIST A COUPLE OF MONTHS LATER .

SQUIRRIL STEW

SEVERAL YEARS AGO (ABOUT 65) I WENT DEER HUNTING WITH MY PARENTS & UNCLE WOODROW LAWSON. AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, UNCLE WOODROW BROUGHT ALONG A COUPLE OF HIS SOUTHERN FRIENDS THAT WORKED WITH HIM IN THE OIL FIELDS.

THE NIGHT BEFORE THE HUNT, HIS FRIENDS TOOK THEIR 30:06's AND WENT TRAIPSING OUT INTO THE PINES.

PRETTY SOON BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG AND WE THOUGHT THAT THEY HAD STARTED THE HUNT EARLY. AFTER AN HOUR OR SO, THEY RETURNED WITH A BLOODY SACK SLUNG OVER THEIR SHOULDERS. THEY DUMPED IT IN THE TABLE AND OUT TUMBLED THE REMAINS OF SEVERAL CHIPMUNKS. "NOW WE'LL SHOW YOU HOW WE SOUTHERNERS KNOW HOW TO EAT, WE'RE GOING TO WHOMP UP A DELICIOUS SQUIRRIL STEW ".

WELL, WE DIDN'T GET TO EAT THEIR DELICIOUS "SQUIRRIL STEW" THAT NIGHT, BUT WE DID HAVE A LASTING NAME FOR OUR OWN SLUM-GULLIAN STEW THAT WE PREPARED OVER THE YEARS, "SQUIRRIL STEW".

AS MY DAUGHTER CHERYL KNOWS, THIS STEW EVOLVED INTO A GASTRONOMICAL DELITE. I WOULD TAKE PRIME BEEF, POTATOES, CARROTS, ONIONS, CELERY, TOMATOES, SNAPPY-TOM, SAUCES OF VARIOUS KINDS, A COUPLE OF SHOTS OF TABASCO, SALT & PEPPER, ETC. PUT IT ALL INTO A DOUBLE WRAPPED PIECE OF ALUMINUM FOIL AND THROW IT INTO THE HOT COALS OF OUR CAMPFIRE. AFTER ABOUT 30 MINUTES I'D TURN IT OVER AND 15 MINUTES LATER IT WOULD BE DONE. DELICIOUS ! ! !

I FIXED THIS ON EVERY CAMP TRIP THAT I CAN REMEMBER. IT MAKES ME HUNGRY JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. I'M GOING TO "WHOMP ME UP A BATCH OF SQUIRRIL STEW" RIGHT NOW. YUMMY.

ONE SHOT, ONE BUCK DEER, TWO TURKEYS, 12 TROUT

This story is true as far as I know. It was told to me by my older sister, Dorothy, when I was about 10 years old.

During the depression we were living in Fillmore, Millard County, Utah. As were about 90% of the Country , we were very poor at the time. My dad and Mom had a large family, and it was a constant struggles to put food on the table. One day my Dad decided he was going to Keg Mountain (on the West Desert) and see if he could bag a deer so we could have meat on the table.

He took his 30:06 off the wall and 1 of the his few remaining bullets and started out on his hunting trip.

As he came over a small rise, he spotted 2 turkeys perched on a limb in a tree.
Well, we hadn't had a turkey for quite a few years, so thoughts of getting venison vanished from hi head.

He rested his rifle on a stump, took aim & fired his 1 bullet at the turkeys. He missed the turkeys, but hit the branch they had perched on dead center. The branch split and as luck would have it, they got their toes caught in the opening before it closed. Their they were about 10 feet up in the tree & couldn't fly away.

Dad climbed the tree to retrieve the turkeys, shimmied out on a small branch above the turkeys so he could reach down and get the trapped turkeys. Just as he got his hand on one of the turkey's neck, the small branch that he was on broke & down they all went into the river below.

Dad always wore Bib Overalls with deep pockets. Well finally up they came & as luck would have it, Dad had fallen into a large school of trout. When he finally got to shore, his bib was chuck full of trout. The weight of the fish was too much for the pocket and a button popped off the Overalls and hit a 4 point buck deer that was passing by right bettween the eyes killing it instantly.

Well, you can imagine how proud Dad was that night with his deer, 2 turkeys & a dozen trout, & he got them all with just one shot.

CONSTIPATION

IF you are bothered by occasional or
frequent constipation, look in the mirror and
repeat the following phrase three times
in succession when symptoms occur:
My present and future financial and
personal well being are
totally in the hands of…
Barack Obama
Joe Biden
Nancy Pelosi
IF that doesn't scare the crap out of you,
then you are probably destined to be backed
up for the rest of your life.

ANOTHER GREAT LINK - ROLLER COASTERS

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JUST ON LINK

http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals5.html

I BEGIN ONCE MORE

IT HAS BEEN SEVERAL MONTHS SINCE MY LAST POST. I FEEL AN URGE TO BEGIN TESTING THE WATERS, SO TO SPEAK, ONCE AGAIN.

MY FIRST SUBMISSION WILL BE ABOUT MY GREAT-GRAND DAD. HE WAS QUITE A MAN. HE WASS AWAY FROM HOME FOR MOST OF HIS LIFE, RETURNING JUST LONG ENOUGH TO GET HIS POOR WIFE PREGNANT.

MY GRANDMA WAS THE YOUNGEST GIRL OF HIS RATHER LARGE FAMILY.

===========================================================================

Nathanial Galloway (1853-1913) was born in Lehi, Utah. In the 1880s he became a trapper in Vernal, Utah. Prior to that he designed the boats that John Wesley Powell navigated the Colorado River on his several trips down the river. Galloway was never mentioned in any of Powell's writings, but the trip would not have been possible without my great-grand daddie's contribution. His early boats can be viewed in the Green River, Utah Museum today.

In 1897, Galloway completed a navigation of the Colorado River from Green River, Wyoming, to Needles, California. To accomplish this, Galloway used the light-weight, flat-bottomed boat that he had designed for Powell. Galloway also appears to have developed a technique of going into the river rapids stern-first while rowing upstream to stabilize the boat while going through. One year after Galloway's first navigation through the Grand Canyon, he was hired as a hunter and boatman for the Hoskaninni Mining Company, owned by Robert Brewster Stanton. He later met one of the financiers of the mining company, Julius Stone, an Ohio industrialist. Stone and Galloway became friends and after several years, Stone approached Galloway about the possibility of navigating the Colorado River together in small boats. In 1909, an expedition was organized. The boats were manufactured in Chicago according to the Galloway style and shipped to Green River, Wyoming.

In addition to Stone and Galloway were three others: one of Stone's friends, C. C. Sharp, one of Galloway's acquaintances, Seymour Dubendorff, and a photographer, Raymond Cogswell. The group began to journey downriver on 12 September 1909. They arrived in Needles, California on 19 November 1909. The trip was without mishap, save a few incidents, including Dubendorff capsizing in one of the rapids. The rapid was later named Dubendorff rapid in his honor. The 1909 expedition is considered the first one entirely for pleasure on the Colorado River, similiar to those today. Galloway also became the first person to navigate the entire Grand Canyon twice. Galloway died in 1913, but his style of boats were in common use until the advent of the inflateable raft. His style of rowing into the rapids has continued to be used with some modifications. The business of river rafting has since become a popular sport with hundreds of trips being made since the Galloway-Stone Expedition of 1909.